My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital,
entered a patient’s room to draw blood.
Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she
remarked,
“An apple a day keeps
the doctor away, right?”
“That’s true,” he agreed. “I haven’t seen a doctor in three days.”
My boss and I took a job applicant to lunch, where we tried,
with little success, to get him to open up about his experience
and qualifications. Frustrated, my boss set his salad aside and
proposed a specific and complex situation to the young man,
then asked, “What would you do?”
The applicant hesitated, then, looking my boss straight in the eye, said,
“Are you going to eat all those tomatoes?”
I have a question. = I have 18 questions.
I’ll look into it. = I’ve already forgotten about it.
I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.
Happy to discuss further. = Don’t ask me about this again.
No worries. = You really messed up this time.
Take care. = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.
Cheers! = I have no respect for you or myself!
Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence.
Me: You mean … the period?
Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it.
